She Hit the Nail on the Head- Smack in the Center!

I read an article in a parenting magazine that cracked me up. I never want to forget it because a lot of it was so real to me. So I am writing some of it down here. It was called, "Regrets, I Have a Few" by Merrin Dungey. I won't write the whole thing, just the parts that rang true to me, for my life. I laughed out loud when reading these paragraphs and then had to call Elise to share. She laughed too.

"Since I had my first child 3 months ago I've dealt with and endless string of sleepless nights, the relentless cycle of feeding and pumping and changing and comforting, and the slow realization that my life will never be the same again. Now that I've emerged from the fog of being a new mommy, I have a few things I need to say.

I apologize to every woman whose baby shower I attended before I became a mom. All those useless stuffed animals and baby booties I bought...well, I am sure they might have come in handy at some point, but I should have stuck to the registry and gotten things you truly needed.

I must also apologize to every new mom I ever bumped into before I had a baby for judging your appearance. I mentally criticized your old sweatpants, your oversize T-shirts, and your haphazard ponytails. I figured you just hadn't taken the time to get ready before you went out or were in dire need of a makeover. Now I understand those precious minutes you savor when the baby goes down for a nap- the desperation to make the most of them. 'I could shower! I could eat! I could sleep! Check my e-mail! Work out! Do laundry!...I could do so much if she would just sleep a little longer.' Then inevitably, there's that sound through the baby monitor. (Stop. Wait. Listen.) 'Was it for real?...That was just a sneeze, right?...She's not up, right?... Oh, please, I'm almost done eating, I thought I could shower. Just five more minutes please. Just...nope. She's up, she's hungry. She's wet. She's something.' And once you've got her fed and changed and played with her, you're on the clock to get that errand done before it all unravels again. I get it now: There is absolutely no time for a blowout. I was a complete jerk, and I'm sorry.

I see how people look at me- with that mixture of pity and disgust- in my old nursing tank covered in spit-up and the same maternity shorts I wear every day. I'm like the Elephant Man. I put my daughter in fancy clothes to compensate for the monster pushing her around. I see the stares. I know what you're saying. Well to hell with you, you small-pants wearing Miley Cyrus fan. I just had a baby. I am not always this fat.

I would definitely apologize to my former self. I always thought I had a few pounds to lose and could look better. I never knew how great I had it. What I wouldn't give to fit into my old clothes again! I look at them longingly day after day. Hi, jeans. Hello, wrap dress. You were all so good to me."

Now that is funny. Funny and true. But, I will not let this last baby be the one that "does me in". I will keep trying to fit into those clothes hanging in my closet, ...I do miss them, and the many many more choices I will have when I fit into them again.