What Did You Say?

Bronson:  "Mom, I need a new family!"

Me:  "What?  You need a new family- Why??"

Bronson (now starting to cry):  "Because I need dogs and cats really bad!"  (now the tears are starting to fall)..."Because they are so cute!"

He was watching Arthur, and I guess it just hit him... Poor little Bronson, I love him.  And you never know little boy, you never know.  But, if you are serious about finding a new family, I just might get really serious about a dog (no cat- just the image makes me sneeze...a-choooo!).   So, Bronson please let me know if you are about to leave and we will run right out to the pet store since I could find a way to live with a dog but NO way to live without you.  Just give me a heads up, K?

Bronson- Officially a Big Boy

4 was the magic number... he considers himself to be a "big boy" now.  Today he was trying so hard to keep up with the boys outside.  But, his little training wheels just couldn't.  The older boys were cutting through the fields on their big bikes as he was yelling, "wait for me, guys!"  I could see his little discouraged face as he watched them ride away.  And so to ease MY pain, I find it better to just tell it like it is:  "Brons, I know you are a big boy now, but...you still have a smaller bike that won't go where the big bikes can go.  But, we can take off your training wheels soon and teach you how to ride a 2-wheeler!?"  He didn't really take to that idea, just turned around and just rode his own little route, pretty satisfied with my explanation.  I'm not gonna push him to take off those little training wheels- I am really happy where he is now.

I like 4 year olds.  They are smart, but still really cute, and less whiny, can be very helpful, and they hold great conversations.  My favorite thing about Bronson right now is that after he says something, he does a little laugh.  Always a little laugh.  I will say, "Are you awesome?"  He answers, "yeah" (and then the short little chuckle).  He has a good sense of humor.  When we think something is funny, he will wait for me to look at him and we will laugh together.  He loves books and lots of attention but he also plays so well alone.  Lately he has been asking when he can go to Brodies house.  I don't know Brodie- he is a boy at preschool.  I tell him that he will be able to go to a friend's house soon enough but for now I like him home.

On our way home from Park City a couple weeks ago he sung to himself in the car- pretty loud though.  I am so glad he sings out and doesn't mind that we are all listening.  He loves singing "Dynomite", "Call 911- Fire on the Dance Floor", and "Paralyzer".  Yep, he is a bit behind on his "Top 20" but that's ok.  Next time I will capture it on video- (my new goal, to get the video camera out much much more.)  We love you Bronson Keller!

Just days before Bronson arrived.  Big.

Ethan holding his new baby brother

Looking so wide awake at only a few weeks old and so much hair!

My vision of the perfect photo shoot- dashed!

Up until about 5-6 months this is how his eyes always were...
like a surprised deer in headlights.  His signature look.

Again, the eyes

His blessing day

Loud fireworks

Finally he decides at 2 1/2 he is going to
cut up and throw away his "pa's"

"Your baby blue eyes are magic to me..."
(lullaby sung to all 5 of my blue eyed babies)

11 months- walking

Hair getting a little curly

Perfect beach shot

Camden reading to Bronson

Bronson- 2

Bronson- almost 3 found a Sharpie marker and wanted
to try out the boys' shin guards- I love this picture

A very common thing for Bronson:  he gets attached to certain things
that he ends up wearing all week or playing with all week.  This week
it was the ninja mask and swim goggles.  He wore them everywhere.

The baby becomes the big brother.  So sweet.

Feeling big

15 YEARS

We were married 15 years ago today...  Happy Anniversary Eric, I was proud of us at 10 and even more so now at 15!  Being in school all those years and having 5 children together has really put a lot of variables into our relationship.  But, I can see that our personalities have overlapped a little more in the middle, we understand each other a little more today than we once did.  I feel like our respect for each other has grown.  I trust you just as much now as I did 15 years ago- you have given me no reason to doubt you.  And I hope I have done the same for you.  Loyalty, integrity, and honesty have been the backbone of our marriage.  We have learned so much together about what it means to love each other.  Real love that grows out of unselfish service for each other, our children and those around us.    

You are a good man.  You are honest and always do what is best for the other person.  At work, if Medicare starts weighing you down, you go back to the same saying, "I am helping the people, I am doing my best to serve the community."  And after work, I know you rush home to be with your family even though the charts are piled high.  You like to have a happy wife, you are OK with Kraft Mac n Cheese on occasion, and soup from a can a lot.  You are understanding about the fact that I don't have efficient days every day and sometimes it's because of just plain poor time management.  But, you are forgiving when I just "couldn't get it together" at home.  

You and I have taken turns coming to one another to apologize, we have made it a priority to keep "us" as the main focus... even if that meant renting a movie and putting blankets and pillows on the floor in Texas for our weekly "dates" to save us from having to pay a babysitter.  (and I was asleep during most of those movies, too.)  It hasn't been easy but there have been plenty of times when I feel like we know just what we are doing and how to handle the stresses of life.

Even though you are a perfectionist in many areas, you have a great talent for letting people be themselves and not trying to force.  You are not a micromanager.  You have let me lose weight at my own pace after each baby without ever saying a thing (good thing...), you have let me tell myself to work on my patience with the kids, you have let me figure out how to change for the better by just letting me BE.  

I don't have a great ending for this post.  All I want to say, is HOORAY for us!, I love you, and I hope and pray we can live long long lives together.  And I believe that we will be together forever, meaning FOR-E-VEEER.  I believe it through and through.  I just hope I am not chubby forever.  That's it.  Yeah for us.

Our Disney Cruise 2011

It finally happened- the cruise I booked oh so long ago.  We took a vacation from the snow from Feb. 25th- March 6th.  I have so much to journal on my blog.  It was so good for us!  (Setting aside the fact that Eric missed the best skiing snow of the whole year- sorry honey!)

It Hit Me, tonight,..

What hit me you wonder?  A little background first: Well, when I was little, when I would have a stomach ache, and be throwing up every hour, I would think, "when this is over, I am going to REALLY appreciate that my stomach doesn't hurt." I would do that with all things.  If I had any kind of pain, I would say to myself, "when this goes away, I am really going to appreciate not being in pain."  But tonight, I have decided to appreciate even before the pain.


The feeling hit me really hard.  I am feeling overwhelming gratitude for the children I have been given.  I have been trusted to raise 5 of the most beautiful children in the entire world.  Sometimes when life is really good, I mean REALLY good, it's hard to get some good perspective on gratitude.  Usually a person needs a big wake up call to realize what they have. (like a stomach ache or a constant pain of some sort.)  Tonight I have been given a little perspective without any real challenge to have caused the clear view.  It was a total gift.  I realize how blessed I am at this moment... this moment when I should be in bed, but I am not because I am thinking about life.  It's quiet around here. 


I have so many things to be grateful for but THIS moment is about my children.  Oh how I love them!  Tomorrow I will appreciate what I have/who I have and who I AM.  I am a MOTHER.  I love this job!  Tomorrow my goal will be to love my children and to look into their eyes and see what I have been given.  I will listen, play, hold, rock, sing, read, and LOVE.  


I think I have just learned for sure that you don't always have to have a big challenge in life to be given a little perspective.  I don't know where this just came from but I am going to take it and run.  I am going to enjoy what I have.  I am going to start again tomorrow- to do my job the best I know how.  I can't wait for the morning!

PS. Driving in the car yesterday Bronson said, "Mom, do you remember Joe Billy Bob?"  I said, "no, what are you talking about?"  He said, "you know, Joe Billy Bob,... on the radio, ...the one with the stinky clothes."  I still have no idea what he is talking about but he was so serious and so sure.  See what I mean? Total awesomeness, my job.

He Did it Without My Permission...

From THIS:

  Poor chubby baby with the too-small clothes.
I mean, really, ...What the?!?!?

To THIS:

Ethan turned 7 on Feb 10th.  I can't believe it, really.  How odd- this thing we call TIME.  How weird it feels- I can't think too deeply about it, it kinda freaks me out.  Sometimes when I look at him I think, "is he my son???"  Because he looks not a thing like me.  But then I look at Eric and say, "oh, ok...he is HIS son."  

Ethan is awesome.  He is a cool dancer.  He wishes he had a mohawk.  I like his cowlick.    He has a cute run.  He HATES cheese.  He loves hanging out with his brothers.  He is happy.  He has great kissable cheeks.  He likes to play basketball.  He is smart.  He is loving.  And...WE LOVE ETHAN!